13 Signs You Should Stop Being a Pirate eScriptAvailable

13 Signs You Should Stop Being a Pirate by A. M. Dittman

(23)
Productions (142)
Comedy
|
25 - 35 minutes
4 Any (4-31 actors possible: 0-31 W, 0-31 M)
Set: Minimal.

The most dastardly crew on the high seas is horrified when Jaime starts to question the pirate's life. Helping people? Putting a unicorn on their flag? Dabbling in Buddhism? What could be worse?! The pirates must set their shipmate straight before it's too late, but the sea is full of distracting swordfights and manatees that look like mermaids. A goofy celebration of the arrrrt of being a pirate for crews of all sizes.

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Pricing Information

Min. Performance Fee* $60
Standard Edition $11.99
eScript Digital Edition $17.5
Stage Manager Edition $24.99
Archival Video License $75

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Play Details

The most dastardly crew on the high seas is horrified when Jaime starts to question the pirate's life. Helping people? Putting a unicorn on their flag? Dabbling in Buddhism? What could be worse?! The pirates must set their shipmate straight before it's too late, but the sea is full of distracting swordfights and manatees that look like mermaids. A goofy celebration of the arrrrt of being a pirate for crews of all sizes.

  • Comedy
  • |
  • 25 - 35 minutes
  • 4 Any (4-31 actors possible: 0-31 W, 0-31 M)
  • Set: Minimal.
  • Standard Edition ISBN: 978-1-62384-990-0

Production History

MAY 09, 2025 - MAY 10, 2025
Great Mills High School
Great Mills, MD United States
 Great Mills High School Great Mills, MD United States
MAY 01, 2025 - MAY 04, 2025
Detroit Country Day School
Beverly Hills, MI United States
 Detroit Country Day School Beverly Hills, MI United States
NOV 21, 2024 - NOV 21, 2024
N/A
Brandon, FL United States
 N/A Brandon, FL United States
NOV 21, 2024 - NOV 22, 2024
Heritage High School
Littleton, CO United States
 Heritage High School Littleton, CO United States
NOV 16, 2024 - NOV 16, 2024
Cienega High School
Tucson, AZ United States
 Cienega High School Tucson, AZ United States
OCT 24, 2024 - OCT 26, 2024
Illinois State University, School of Theatre, Dance, and Film
Normal, IL United States
 Illinois State University, School of Theatre, Dance, and Film Normal, IL United States
OCT 07, 2024 - OCT 07, 2024
Elkhorn Area High School
Elkhorn, WI United States
 Elkhorn Area High School Elkhorn, WI United States
MAY 09, 2024 - MAY 11, 2024
South Pointe High School Theatre Department
ROCK HILL, SC United States
 South Pointe High School Theatre Department ROCK HILL, SC United States
MAY 05, 2024 - MAY 06, 2024
Weston Middle School
Weston, MA United States
 Weston Middle School Weston, MA United States
MAY 01, 2024 - MAY 01, 2024
Boerne Middle School North
Boerne, TX United States
 Boerne Middle School North Boerne, TX United States
APR 05, 2024 - APR 05, 2024
EHS Theatre
Goddard, KS United States
 EHS Theatre Goddard, KS United States
FEB 27, 2024 - FEB 27, 2024
Old Donation School
Virginia Beach, VA United States
 Old Donation School Virginia Beach, VA United States
JAN 30, 2024 - JAN 30, 2024
Harbor Christian Homeschool
Gig Harbor, WA United States
 Harbor Christian Homeschool Gig Harbor, WA United States
JAN 19, 2024 - JAN 19, 2024
East Greenwich High School
East Greenwich, RI United States
 East Greenwich High School East Greenwich, RI United States
JAN 18, 2024 - JAN 19, 2024
Azalea Middle School
BROOKINGS, OR United States
 Azalea Middle School BROOKINGS, OR United States
DEC 07, 2023 - DEC 07, 2023
ORiGiN Theatrical (DARE Drama)
Brunswick, VIC New Zealand
 ORiGiN Theatrical (DARE Drama) Brunswick, VIC New Zealand
DEC 07, 2023 - DEC 07, 2023
ORiGiN Theatrical (DARE Drama)
Brunswick, VIC Australia
 ORiGiN Theatrical (DARE Drama) Brunswick, VIC Australia
DEC 05, 2023 - DEC 16, 2023
Martin Middle School
Corpus Christi, TX United States
 Martin Middle School Corpus Christi, TX United States
NOV 08, 2023 - NOV 08, 2023
Higley High School
GIlbert, AZ United States
 Higley High School GIlbert, AZ United States
JUN 23, 2023 - JUN 24, 2023
Frontier Academy
Greeley, CO United States
 Frontier Academy Greeley, CO United States
JUN 09, 2023 - JUN 10, 2023
Springhouse Theatre Company
Smyrna, TN United States
 Springhouse Theatre Company Smyrna, TN United States
MAY 18, 2023 - MAY 18, 2023
Compass Homeschool Enrichment
Herndon, VA United States
 Compass Homeschool Enrichment Herndon, VA United States
MAY 17, 2023 - MAY 17, 2023
Burlingame High School
Burlingame, CA United States
 Burlingame High School Burlingame, CA United States
MAY 17, 2023 - MAY 17, 2023
Burlingame High School
BURLINGAME, CA United States
 Burlingame High School BURLINGAME, CA United States
APR 05, 2023 - APR 05, 2023
Taproot Theatre Company
Seattle, WA United States
 Taproot Theatre Company Seattle, WA United States
MAR 30, 2023 - MAR 30, 2023
Doland School
Doland, SD United States
 Doland School Doland, SD United States
MAR 02, 2023 - MAR 03, 2023
Brazosport ISD
Clute, TX United States
 Brazosport ISD Clute, TX United States
FEB 02, 2023 - FEB 04, 2023
Westerville North Theatre Boosters
Westerville, OH United States
 Westerville North Theatre Boosters Westerville, OH United States
JAN 30, 2023 - FEB 02, 2023
Watertown HS Theater Department
Watertown, SD United States
 Watertown HS Theater Department Watertown, SD United States
DEC 08, 2022 - DEC 08, 2022
Lee V Pollard High School
Corona, CA United States
 Lee V Pollard High School Corona, CA United States
DEC 02, 2022 - DEC 02, 2022
Theatre Denton
Denton, TX United States
 Theatre Denton Denton, TX United States
OCT 06, 2022 - OCT 06, 2022
Four Points Middle School
Austin, TX United States
 Four Points Middle School Austin, TX United States
SEP 02, 2022 - SEP 03, 2022
Monifieth Theatre
Monifieth, United Kingdom
 Monifieth Theatre Monifieth, United Kingdom
AUG 26, 2022 - AUG 26, 2022
Taproot Theatre Company
Seattle, WA United States
 Taproot Theatre Company Seattle, WA United States
AUG 26, 2022 - SEP 04, 2022
Old Theater
Oriental, NC United States
 Old Theater Oriental, NC United States
JUL 28, 2022 - JUL 28, 2022
Zeeland Recreation
Zeeland, MI United States
 Zeeland Recreation Zeeland, MI United States
APR 29, 2022 - MAY 13, 2022
Bradford Christian Academy
Haverhill, MA United States
 Bradford Christian Academy Haverhill, MA United States
APR 20, 2022 - APR 21, 2022
AMERICAN SCHOOL OF DUBAI
Dubai, AL United Arab Emirates
 AMERICAN SCHOOL OF DUBAI Dubai, AL United Arab Emirates
APR 15, 2022 - APR 15, 2022
Taproot Theatre Company
Seattle, WA United States
 Taproot Theatre Company Seattle, WA United States
MAR 04, 2022 - MAR 05, 2022
Troy R-3 School District
Troy, MO United States
 Troy R-3 School District Troy, MO United States
JAN 29, 2022 - FEB 06, 2022
Owosso High School
Owosso, MI United States
 Owosso High School Owosso, MI United States
JAN 13, 2022 - JAN 14, 2022
Ascent Academies of Utah - Farmington
Farmington, UT United States
 Ascent Academies of Utah - Farmington Farmington, UT United States
NOV 18, 2021 - NOV 19, 2021
Selkirk High Scool
Metaline Falls, WA United States
 Selkirk High Scool Metaline Falls, WA United States
NOV 12, 2021 - NOV 12, 2021
Lumberton Middle School
Lumberton, TX United States
 Lumberton Middle School Lumberton, TX United States
NOV 11, 2021 - NOV 12, 2021
Romulus HS Drama Dept
Romulus, NY United States
 Romulus HS Drama Dept Romulus, NY United States
NOV 05, 2021 - NOV 06, 2021
Lake Lure Classical Academy
Boiling Springs, NC United States
 Lake Lure Classical Academy Boiling Springs, NC United States
OCT 07, 2021 - OCT 07, 2021
Triton Regional High School
Runnemede, NJ United States
 Triton Regional High School Runnemede, NJ United States
SEP 30, 2021 - OCT 02, 2021
St. Ambrose School
Godfrey, IL United States
 St. Ambrose School Godfrey, IL United States
AUG 05, 2021 - AUG 05, 2021
Amesbury Recreation Department
Amesbury, MA United States
 Amesbury Recreation Department Amesbury, MA United States
JUL 30, 2021 - JUL 30, 2021
Taproot Theatre Company
Seattle, WA United States
 Taproot Theatre Company Seattle, WA United States
JUN 22, 2021 - JUL 04, 2021
Kids Fun And Drama
Beloit, WI United States
 Kids Fun And Drama Beloit, WI United States
MAY 06, 2021 - MAY 06, 2021
Cowan Jr./Sr. High School
Muncie, IN United States
 Cowan Jr./Sr. High School Muncie, IN United States
MAY 03, 2021 - MAY 03, 2021
Spring Creek High
Spring Creek, NV United States
 Spring Creek High Spring Creek, NV United States
APR 29, 2021 - APR 29, 2021
Holy Redeemer Catholic School
Johns Creek, GA United States
 Holy Redeemer Catholic School Johns Creek, GA United States
APR 20, 2021 - SEP 11, 2021
ORiGiN Theatrical (Mount Isa Theatrical Society (MITS))
Mount Isa, QLD Australia
 ORiGiN Theatrical (Mount Isa Theatrical Society (MITS)) Mount Isa, QLD Australia
MAR 15, 2021 - APR 30, 2021
Lower Canada College
Montreal, QC Canada
 Lower Canada College Montreal, QC Canada
MAR 12, 2021 - MAR 13, 2021
Tri-Valley Middle School
Downs, IL United States
 Tri-Valley Middle School Downs, IL United States
DEC 11, 2020 - DEC 13, 2020
Marloo Youth Theatre
Perth, Western Australia Australia
 Marloo Youth Theatre Perth, Western Australia Australia
NOV 07, 2020 - NOV 11, 2020
New Salem - Almont High School
New Salem, ND United States
 New Salem - Almont High School New Salem, ND United States
NOV 04, 2020 - NOV 04, 2020
Powers Lake High School
Williston, ND United States
 Powers Lake High School Williston, ND United States
OCT 30, 2020 - OCT 30, 2020
Cushing Middle School
Cushing, OK United States
 Cushing Middle School Cushing, OK United States
JUL 23, 2020 - JUL 23, 2020
West Lutheran High School
Maple Grove, MN United States
 West Lutheran High School Maple Grove, MN United States
JUL 03, 2020 - JUL 03, 2020
UCPA
Davie, FL United States
 UCPA Davie, FL United States
MAY 29, 2020 - MAY 30, 2020
Serendipity Acting Studio
Carroll, IA United States
 Serendipity Acting Studio Carroll, IA United States
APR 28, 2020 - APR 28, 2020
Cabri School Drama
Cabri, SK Canada
 Cabri School Drama Cabri, SK Canada
APR 24, 2020 - APR 25, 2020
Bacon Academy
Colchester, CT United States
 Bacon Academy Colchester, CT United States
APR 23, 2020 - APR 24, 2020
Parkway South High School
Manchester, MO United States
 Parkway South High School Manchester, MO United States
APR 15, 2020 - APR 15, 2020
St Johns-Ravenscourt School
Winnipeg, MB Canada
 St Johns-Ravenscourt School Winnipeg, MB Canada
MAR 28, 2020 - MAR 28, 2020
Lee's Summit West HS Theatre
LEE'S SUMMIT, MO United States
 Lee's Summit West HS Theatre LEE'S SUMMIT, MO United States
MAR 27, 2020 - MAR 27, 2020
Carmel Christian School
Charlotte, NC United States
 Carmel Christian School Charlotte, NC United States
MAR 12, 2020 - MAR 12, 2020
Players Workshop
Burlington, IA United States
 Players Workshop Burlington, IA United States
FEB 08, 2020 - FEB 08, 2020
Bridgewater-Emery High School
Sioux Falls, SD United States
 Bridgewater-Emery High School Sioux Falls, SD United States
JAN 30, 2020 - JAN 30, 2020
Monacan High School
Richmond, VA United States
 Monacan High School Richmond, VA United States
JAN 25, 2020 - JAN 25, 2020
Park Christian School
Moorhead, MN United States
 Park Christian School Moorhead, MN United States
JAN 25, 2020 - JAN 25, 2020
WAO School District
East Grand Forks, MN United States
 WAO School District East Grand Forks, MN United States
JAN 20, 2020 - JAN 23, 2020
Bridgewater-Emery High School
Mitchell, SD United States
 Bridgewater-Emery High School Mitchell, SD United States
JAN 14, 2020 - JAN 14, 2020
University of Regina - Conservatory of Performing Arts
Regina, SK Canada
 University of Regina - Conservatory of Performing Arts Regina, SK Canada
DEC 12, 2019 - DEC 12, 2019
Bandera High School
Bandera, TX United States
 Bandera High School Bandera, TX United States
DEC 12, 2019 - DEC 14, 2019
Faribault High School
Faribault, MN United States
 Faribault High School Faribault, MN United States
DEC 09, 2019 - DEC 13, 2019
Hilliard Darby Theatre
Hilliard, OH United States
 Hilliard Darby Theatre Hilliard, OH United States
OCT 24, 2019 - OCT 25, 2019
Morgantown High School
Morgantown, WV United States
 Morgantown High School Morgantown, WV United States
OCT 15, 2019 - OCT 25, 2019
St. Clair High School Drama Club
St. Clair, MO United States
 St. Clair High School Drama Club St. Clair, MO United States
OCT 12, 2019 - OCT 12, 2019
Woomera Area School
Woomera, SA Australia
 Woomera Area School Woomera, SA Australia
AUG 10, 2019 - AUG 10, 2019
52-1319030
Macedonia, IA United States
 52-1319030 Macedonia, IA United States
JUL 26, 2019 - JUL 27, 2019
Frontier Academy
Greeley, CO United States
 Frontier Academy Greeley, CO United States
JUL 18, 2019 - JUL 20, 2019
Marlette Area Players
Marlette, United Kingdom
 Marlette Area Players Marlette, United Kingdom
JUL 03, 2019 - JUL 06, 2019
St Stephens Players
Guernsey, United Kingdom
 St Stephens Players Guernsey, United Kingdom
MAY 22, 2019 - MAY 22, 2019
Burlingame High School
Burlingame, CA United States
 Burlingame High School Burlingame, CA United States
MAY 17, 2019 - MAY 17, 2019
Norwayne High School
Creston, OH United States
 Norwayne High School Creston, OH United States
MAY 09, 2019 - MAY 09, 2019
Cross Creek Christian Academy
Olive Branch, MS Canada
 Cross Creek Christian Academy Olive Branch, MS Canada
MAY 03, 2019 - MAY 03, 2019
Greenbrier High School Theater Arts
Greenbrier, TN United States
 Greenbrier High School Theater Arts Greenbrier, TN United States
APR 18, 2019 - APR 20, 2019
MCC Middle School
Scottville, MI United States
 MCC Middle School Scottville, MI United States
APR 12, 2019 - APR 13, 2019
Beaumont School
Cleveland Heights, OH United States
 Beaumont School Cleveland Heights, OH United States
MAR 01, 2019 - MAR 08, 2019
Maus Middle School
Frisco, TX United States
 Maus Middle School Frisco, TX United States
FEB 22, 2019 - FEB 22, 2019
The Westfield School
Perry, GA United States
 The Westfield School Perry, GA United States
FEB 02, 2019 - FEB 02, 2019
Fairfield Community School District
Cedar Rpaids, IA United States
 Fairfield Community School District Cedar Rpaids, IA United States
JAN 28, 2019 - JAN 28, 2019
Fairfield Community School District
Fairfield, IA United States
 Fairfield Community School District Fairfield, IA United States
JAN 19, 2019 - JAN 19, 2019
Fairfield Community School District
Ottumwa, IA United States
 Fairfield Community School District Ottumwa, IA United States
DEC 07, 2018 - DEC 07, 2018
Spiritwood High School
SPIRITWOOD, SK Canada
 Spiritwood High School SPIRITWOOD, SK Canada
DEC 07, 2018 - DEC 08, 2018
Maple Creek Composite School
Maple Creek, SK Canada
 Maple Creek Composite School Maple Creek, SK Canada
NOV 03, 2018 - NOV 04, 2018
n/a
Waynesfield, OH United States
 n/a Waynesfield, OH United States
OCT 27, 2018 - OCT 28, 2018
Hastings Middle School Drama
Upper Arlington, OH United States
 Hastings Middle School Drama Upper Arlington, OH United States
OCT 19, 2018 - OCT 21, 2018
RHCR Theatre
Cedar Rapids, IA United States
 RHCR Theatre Cedar Rapids, IA United States
MAY 11, 2018 - MAY 12, 2018
East Jackson Comprehensive HS
Commerce, GA United States
 East Jackson Comprehensive HS Commerce, GA United States
MAY 04, 2018 - MAY 06, 2018
St. Pascal School
Regina, SK Canada
 St. Pascal School Regina, SK Canada
APR 27, 2018 - APR 27, 2018
St Paul's College
Hong Kong, Hong Kong
 St Paul's College Hong Kong, Hong Kong
APR 25, 2018 - APR 26, 2018
Selwyn House School
Westmount, QC Canada
 Selwyn House School Westmount, QC Canada
APR 19, 2018 - APR 20, 2018
Piper Middle School
Kansas City, KS United States
 Piper Middle School Kansas City, KS United States
APR 18, 2018 - MAY 29, 2018
St. Pascal School
Green Lake, SK Canada
 St. Pascal School Green Lake, SK Canada
MAR 02, 2018 - MAR 02, 2018
Washington Middle School
Washington, IA United States
 Washington Middle School Washington, IA United States
DEC 12, 2017 - DEC 12, 2017
Catlin Gabel School
Portland, OR United States
 Catlin Gabel School Portland, OR United States
DEC 06, 2017 - DEC 08, 2017
Spoto High School Drama Club
Tampa, FL United States
 Spoto High School Drama Club Tampa, FL United States
NOV 06, 2017 - NOV 06, 2017
Actors Connection New York
New York, NY United States
 Actors Connection New York New York, NY United States
SEP 19, 2017 - SEP 20, 2017
Doveton College
DOVETON, VIC Australia
 Doveton College DOVETON, VIC Australia
JUL 07, 2017 - JUL 07, 2017
The M.A.D.* Factory
Oberlin, OH United States
 The M.A.D.* Factory Oberlin, OH United States
MAY 18, 2017 - MAY 18, 2017
DramaTime!
Joelton, TN United States
 DramaTime! Joelton, TN United States
APR 27, 2017 - APR 27, 2017
Quincy Community Theatre
Quincy, IL United States
 Quincy Community Theatre Quincy, IL United States
APR 10, 2017 - APR 11, 2017
Community Partnership Of The Ozarks
Springfield, MO United States
 Community Partnership Of The Ozarks Springfield, MO United States
MAR 29, 2017 - MAR 31, 2017
AHS Drama Club
Riner, VA United States
 AHS Drama Club Riner, VA United States
MAR 25, 2017 - MAR 25, 2017
Stromness Academy
Orkney, United Kingdom
 Stromness Academy Orkney, United Kingdom
MAR 03, 2017 - MAR 03, 2017
Stromness Academy
Orkney, United Kingdom
 Stromness Academy Orkney, United Kingdom
JAN 21, 2017 - JAN 21, 2017
Sheldon High School
Sheldon, IA United States
 Sheldon High School Sheldon, IA United States
NOV 04, 2016 - NOV 05, 2016
Dansville Drama Club
Dansville, NY United States
 Dansville Drama Club Dansville, NY United States
SEP 20, 2016 - DEC 15, 2016
School
Arapahoe, NE United States
 School Arapahoe, NE United States
AUG 19, 2016 - AUG 19, 2016
WideSpot Performing Arts Center
Stockholm, WI United States
 WideSpot Performing Arts Center Stockholm, WI United States
JUN 24, 2016 - JUN 24, 2016
Springhouse
Smyrna, TN United States
 Springhouse Smyrna, TN United States
JUN 17, 2016 - JUN 17, 2016
Music Place Mansfield Fine Arts Conservatory
Mansfield, TX United States
 Music Place Mansfield Fine Arts Conservatory Mansfield, TX United States
MAY 19, 2016 - JUN 04, 2016
Castle Rock High School
Castle Rock, WA United States
 Castle Rock High School Castle Rock, WA United States
MAY 13, 2016 - MAY 13, 2016
Richardson High School
Richardson, TX United States
 Richardson High School Richardson, TX United States
MAY 01, 2016 - MAY 01, 2016
Thames Valley DSB
London, ON Canada
 Thames Valley DSB London, ON Canada
MAY 01, 2016 - MAY 01, 2016
Triangle Day School
Durham, NC United States
 Triangle Day School Durham, NC United States
APR 21, 2016 - APR 23, 2016
Pittsburg High Thespians
Pittsburg, CA United States
 Pittsburg High Thespians Pittsburg, CA United States
APR 14, 2016 - APR 15, 2016
Lampman School
Lampman, SK Canada
 Lampman School Lampman, SK Canada
APR 05, 2016 - APR 05, 2016
Dupree School
Dupree, SD United States
 Dupree School Dupree, SD United States
FEB 19, 2016 - MAR 19, 2016
Covenant Day School
Southern Pines, NC United States
 Covenant Day School Southern Pines, NC United States
FEB 02, 2016 - FEB 05, 2016
Clark HS Theater Department
Clark, SD United States
 Clark HS Theater Department Clark, SD United States
JAN 20, 2016 - JAN 20, 2016
Clark HS Theater Department
Clark, SD United States
 Clark HS Theater Department Clark, SD United States
DEC 18, 2015 - DEC 18, 2015
Mt Keira Demonstration School
Mt Keira, NSW Australia
 Mt Keira Demonstration School Mt Keira, NSW Australia
NOV 27, 2015 - APR 10, 2016
Oxbow Prairie Horizons School
Oxbow, SK Canada
 Oxbow Prairie Horizons School Oxbow, SK Canada
NOV 09, 2015 - NOV 25, 2015
Kidder County Public Schools
Hazen, ND United States
 Kidder County Public Schools Hazen, ND United States
NOV 06, 2015 - NOV 06, 2015
Lake Lure Classical Academy
BOONE, NC United States
 Lake Lure Classical Academy BOONE, NC United States
SEP 27, 2015 - SEP 27, 2015
Grace University
Omaha, NE United States
 Grace University Omaha, NE United States
MAY 09, 2025 - MAY 10, 2025
Great Mills High School
Great Mills, MD United States
 Great Mills High School Great Mills, MD United States
MAY 01, 2025 - MAY 04, 2025
Detroit Country Day School
Beverly Hills, MI United States
 Detroit Country Day School Beverly Hills, MI United States
No professional productions.

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